For Mimi & Ta :

After a hot ( whew!) date on Friday night , nursing a bad hangover the whole of Saturday, I woke unto a beautiful June Sunday morning. A light shower, people out in their balconies, staring wistfully outside (?), the atmosphere was just right to settle in for the proverbial garam chai & pakodas. Considering that I pay top dollar (this is MBA jargon for ’Ouch, that payment hurts’) to be told by my very sweet dietician all the stuff I must not eat as I try valiantly to hide my age, pakodas were ruled out!. As I nuzzled my cup of chai, the 2 concrete manifestations of my contributions to the world- arre baba - my children ( I have become more cocky about my writing skills , therefore I am constantly looking for how to make the simple more complicated) were scampering around. This was a golden opportunity to spend quality time with them and operate guilt free for the rest of the week. I am the eternal optimist & will seize any such opportunity…So Mimi (2 yrs 3 mths), Ta ( 3 yrs, 5 months) –wearing raincoats & Mama ( I don’t like to remind myself) – wearing attitude, stepped down to get wet in the rain. Hubby dearest, despite ALL temptations, would rather prefer his Sunday morning newspaper!.

And we ran, got drenched, splashed in the muddy puddles, intently observed the earthworms struggling , removed chappals & stamped in the sticky lawn & We SANG. We sang aloud- all songs that we could possibly- Raindrops on Roses, Singin in the Rain, Gulzar’s Mera Kuch Saaman ( you remember that line- Ek Akeli Chatri mein jo aadhe aadhe bheeg rahe the?- What could possibly be more romantic than that?). We sang, we laughed, we shouted- people in their balconies were now worriedly concerned about something that is no business of theirs anyway- what consequences would this have on my children’s health? Though, some of them looked at us indulgently- sharing our joy & our pure ability to live in the moment!. Yes, my children did end up with runny noses & red eyes. Yes- they are still not completely recovered physically. But let a light shower happen- they get excited & shout- chalo mama, chalo! And they have had a happy week.

Becoming a parent is the most difficult transition I have had to make in my life- the responsibility of turning out a healthy baby, the responsibility of ensuring that they get a good education & turn out to be good, solid human beings, responsibility of not ingraining any permanently damaging complexes, the list goes on. So what is that I want them to grow up with – Good education, good morals, good values, good lifestyles? Sure- yes. But I am more concerned about my children’s health & their well being than most of the balconiewallas thought. I want them to grow up with a sense of freedom, of being able to make choices that will make them happy, of being able to seize a moment & enjoy it to the fullest, of creating happy NOWs, that will hold them in good stead whenever they face the problems, sadness & disappointments that they will necessarily face as life goes on.

Becoming a parent is also about realizing that we needn’t chase goals, better houses, better jobs et al to be happy. In fact, its about knowing that time moves on & we can seize it by being child like & experience the exhilarating joy that only children are capable of.
So Jagjit Singh –of the Who Kagaz ki Kashti, woh baarish ka paani, mujhe lauta do woh bachpan ke din, fame- I do understand what you mean, but I have decided to get my bachpan back- I am making a choice.

I hope you make yours too.

Love

Bhavna